Welcome to SIA

Home of the 12-Step Group for Survivors

We welcome you to Survivors of Incest Anonymous and hope you will find here the hope, camaraderie and recovery that we have been privileged to experience. We are a self-help group of women and men, 18 years or older, who are guided by a set of 12 Suggested Steps and 12 Traditions, along with some slogans and the Serenity Prayer. There are no dues or fees. Everything that is said here, in the group meeting or member to member, must be held in strict confidence. We do not have any professional therapist working in our group. SIA is not a replacement for therapy or any other professional service when needed. The only requirement for membership is that you are a victim of child sexual abuse, and you are not abusing any child. We define incest very broadly as a sexual experience by a family member or by an extended family member that damaged the child. "Extended family" may include an aunt, uncle, in-law, step-parent, cousin, friend of the family, teacher, coach, another child, clergy or anyone that you were led to trust. We believe we were affected by the abuse whether it occurred once or many times since the damage is incurred immediately. We learn in SIA not to deny, that we did not imagine the incest, nor was it our fault in any way. The abuser will go to any length to shift the responsibility to the defenseless child, often accusing the child of being seductive. We had healthy, natural needs for love, attention and acceptance, and we often paid high prices to get those needs met, but we did not seduce our abuser. Physical coercion is rarely necessary with a child since the child is already intimidated. The more gentle the assault, the more guilt the victim inappropriately carries. We also learn not to accept any responsibility for the assaults even if these occurred over a prolonged period of time. Some of us are still being sexually assaulted. In SIA we share our experiences and common feelings. We realize that we felt we had to protect our caretakers from this horrible secret, as if they were not participants. We felt alienated from the non-abusive family members. Often, greater anger is directed toward them since it is safer to get angry at people we perceive to be powerless. We became caretakers in order to maintain an image of a nurturing family. Our feelings of betrayal by our families are immeasurable. We need to mourn the death of the ideal family that many of us created in our own imaginations. In dealing with this pain, it feels as if we are pulling the scab off a wound that never healed properly, AND IT HURTS. However, it is easier to cry when we have friends who are not afraid of our tears. We CAN be comforted - that is why we are here. Our pain is no longer in vain. We will never forget, but we can, in time, end the regretting that accompanies destructive remembering. We can learn, One Day at a Time, that we are incest SURVIVORS, rather than incest victims.

 


Group Updates

1/21/12 - Now meeting every 1st and 3rd Saturday at 3PM
5/01/11 - Now meeting every 1st and 3rd Monday
2/03/11 - A new look for our old group of 8 years

Check back often for updates in the Recommended section, and feel free to add any suggestions!

RAINN Statistics:

1 in 6 women (estimated 1 in 4) are sexually assaulted.
1 in 33 men (estimated 1 in 6) are sexually assaulted.
In 2007, there were 248,300 victims of sexual assault.
15% of sexual assault and rape victims are under age 12.
Only 6% of rapists will ever go to jail.

Our Slogan:

Keep coming back.
It works if you work it, and we're worth it.
And the abuse was not my fault;
it's THEIR'S!